The Dad Birth Plan

My family is about to go from a two-step to a three-legged race, and I am excited, overwhelmed, and awash with realizations not yet processed. As my wife and I begin preparing for our new addition, the conversation keeps going back to her birthplan - the specific ways that she wants this birth to proceed. This is an awesome conversation to watch unfold, as everyday she gets a clearer vision of how we are going to welcome this new little person into the world. I sit back and support my wife in this process, but I have some thoughts on the wild world of fatherhood that need outlet as well. Here you will find an aggregation of those thoughts.

You may also find my thoughts on my ramp up to parenting on twitter at #thedadbirthplan.

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June 8th, 2012
Assembled a crib. Dropped a screwdriver on my toe. Said all the words that I won't be able to once the baby arrives. #thedadbirthplan

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June 7th, 2012
I can't wait to explore the world of Bradbury with my child. Fahrenheit 451 is a good bedtime story for a newborn, right? #thedadbirthplan

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June 6th, 2012
That Google commercial with the uberphotographic father chokes up every time. So sad that he lost his phone. #thedadbirthplan

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June 5th, 2012
Every time we hear the baby's heartbeat, I swear Annie's giving birth to a wash machine. Maybe we'll name the baby Maytag. #thedadbirthplan

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June 4th, 2012
This baby will be just the excuse I need to start adding hotdogs to my Macaroni & Cheese again. #thedadbirthplan

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June 3rd, 2012
There's a Lakota custom of naming a baby after the 1st thing they see. I'm taking down my wife's Justin Bieber posters. #thedadbirthplan

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June 2nd, 2012
My wife passes gas & its "a cute side affect of being pregnant". I let one go and evidently its the holocaust. #thedadbirthplan

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June 1st, 2012
Researching infant vaccinations. Still no cure for the Jersey Shore. One day they'll eradicate that terror of humanity. #thedadbirthplan

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May 31st, 2012
Just went through the home birth supply list. Add a shotgun and flares, and it could double as a zombie apocalypse kit. #thedadbirthplan

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May30th, 2012
My wife's fetus has nothing on the food baby that is currently gestating in my stomach. 9 months? Ha! Try 9 hours. #thedadbirthplan
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May 29th, 2012
What's the preferred knot for an umbilical cord? #BoyScouts never prepped me for this one. I'm thinking bowline-on-a-bite. #thedadbirthplan
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May 28th, 2012

If I'm going to be catching this baby upon delivery, I'm going to need an AJ Pierzynski jersey. #whitesox #thedadbirthplan
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May 27th, 2012
I can't wait for this child to come out, so that I can hold it over my head and sing "Ah Sevenya!!!" #thedadbirthplan

~CW