Monday, September 26, 2011

SkyMall - The Adventure Continues

I couldn't let these SkyMall gems get away without comment. The folks at SkyMall obviously scour the world for the newest in fashion, convenience, and technology. These are prime examples:

As if this guy could have a more flaky look in the picture to the left. Then he slides his glasses down, through the bill of his hat, and removes all doubt.

I would argue that anyone who is this serious about their sports teams and/or their eye protection is a flake. I try not to judge people by their looks alone, but this look is so strong, it is hard to do anything but shiver.

Note that, if you aren't a die hard sports fan, you can also get the SunCap as a boonie hat. A perfect gift for that gopher-hunting, Dali Llama-assisting, Bill Murray from Caddyshack-type in your life. As long as you want to publicly humiliate said person.

SkyRest Travel Pillow
"This person is able to sleep comfortably in any seat! Can you say the same?"

No. I cannot say the same. If I had that creepy of a mustache, I'd be afraid to go to sleep, for fear that my upper lip would eat me in my sleep.

Not to mention the fact that if I inflated a SkyRest in public, I'd probably be thrown out of the plane for being such a jerk.

The Dallas Morning News is quoted as saying, "But you can be...more comfortable with a SkyRest pillow...Simply lean forward and snooze, and the miles will fly by." I have a feeling that SkyMall edited the full quote, which was something to the affect of, "Ever think to yourself, I'm glad I'm not THAT big of an idiot? But you can be, all while being more comfortable with a SkyRest pillow"

The SkyRest, for those times when you just can't think of another way to piss off your seat partner.

Kenzie Covers
What better way to show how much you love America than by wearing it on your muzzle? Avoid breathing in the noxious fumes of terrorism, avian bird flu, and that smelly guy on the train.

Not feeling patriotic? Now you can customize your mask. Always wish you could wear an impressive creeper-stache like the guy in the picture above? Print it on your safety mask!

Or maybe you just need to complete your ninja outfit with a super ninja respirator - a la Shredder's foot soldiers in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Whatever design you choose, you're sure to find a breath of fresh air in these masks.

The Pillow Tie
Your eyes do not deceive you. The pillow tie is exactly what it sounds like.

By day, a symbol of corporate professionalism. By mid-afternoon, a soft cushion for your meeting-induced migraine. Simply blow a few puffs of air into the nozzle and find yourself quickly on your way to la la land.

And yes, the item above is a Mustache Mirror. A mirror, with mustaches painted on it. Genius.

Please note the simple, easy to use pictorial diagram under the Pillow Tie, using the same artist as those nonsensical emergency water landing brocures found in the back pocket of the airplane seats. Right next to the SkyMall...

And we've come full circle.


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