You may have heard of the magical wonders held within the pages of SkyMall - The mail-order catalogue found in the back seat pockets of airplanes. If you aren't familiar, just unscrunch your legs next time you're in the sky, look past the barf-bag and the water landing tutorial, and I'm certain that you'll find a tattered periodical filled with products that you've only dreamed of.
The headline reads, "Go ahead and sleep in late this weekend, your dog has a yard of his own". So now, you are not only a cruel dog owner, you're also a lazy one.
So strap on that doggie sweater that you've been waiting to put on little Rover, and complete the humiliation of your canine friend.
At least they can now be humiliated in the privacy of your own loft.
Lost in Space - Head Cases
SkyMall seems to have a ridiculous number of space-aged contraptions that go around your head.
iGrow Laser Hair Rejuvination Treatment
This particular bit of headgear is designed to stimulate hair growth and rejuvination. With a glowing infra-red halo around your cranium, the hair will be sprouting within a few months. In the mean time, your current follicle stock will be grooving to the rave that is thumping on your naked frontal lobe.
Did I mention that it includes iPod compatibility for those of you who are worried about looking cool while donning this hair-helmet?
Don't worry. This is obviously a device that is designed for the fashion conscious.
It even comes with a remote control. Because they know that you'll never want to take the thing off your noggin.
If you are tired of rising fuel costs, looking lame by taking public transportation, or the drag of rush hour traffic, this is the sweet ride you've been looking for!
What better way is there to get around, all the while looking like a bad ass? Take the awesomeness of using a skateboard, add the freedom of roller skates, and throw in the roundness the hula hoop for good measure. What do you get? Orbitwheels!
Just strap on these fashionable O-rings, and slide down the walk like Marty McFly in Back to the Future 2 (minus the puffy vest or the coolness of Michael J. Fox).
Be sure to wear your helmet to protect your cranium from the bludgeoning you are sure to receive when you are seen in public with these things on.