My Tip on Gratuity

I walked into a little ice cream shop this weekend with the woman of my dreams. The shop was quaint, opened in South Haven, Michigan as an ice cream parlor and soda fountain in 1958, and has blossomed into a local treasure, served in restaurants and shops across the southwest Michigan landscape.

As we walked in, an over-sized blue bovine stood majestically on the roof of the building, heralding the milk-based confectionery treats inside. The place was bustling with smiling children, young lovers, and courteous high schoolers in aprons and blue shirts that proudly bore the name “SHERMAN'S ICE CREAM”

As we strode from side-to-side, peering hungrily into all the cardboard buckets that stood deliciously behind neon-lit glass cases, these modern day soda-jerks truly impressed me. Instead of the ever-frustrating, disinterested rapport that I get from most attendants at eateries and shops I engage, these three ice cream-doling attendants were thrilled to help us make our decisions on dessert.

Let me share the way I approach my waitstaff. I enjoy engaging my servers. If I can glean an honest and enthusiastic response from a waiter or server, their chances of receiving not only gratuity, but also my heartfelt respect, increase exponentially. If, when I ask my server for a recommendation, they make an earnest recommendation, it truly impresses me. When you add value to my experience, rather than merely taking my order, you've immediately earned my respect as a person who cares about the service they provide.

This is a perspective that I gained as someone who's worked in a tip-driven industry. So when these folks at Sherman's offered this top-notch service, it was the least I could do to tip them each a buck or two. But as we walked out, I said to my wife,

"Someday, I'd like to be able to walk into that ice cream shop, receive great service, and hand each one of those kids twenty dollars. Not because I want to flaunt my wealth, but because I truly appreciate the zeal that they show for their jobs."

Some people may see that as a waste of money. Some may see it as a a silly way to spend ones hard earned cash. But I see it as true appreciation. I see it as commendation for a job well done.

That being said, I am not afraid to leave a sub-par tip for a server who is snooty, bored, or treating me like I'm an inconvenience to their evening. But more often than not, I am a sympathetic tipper.

I have this mentality because I have been tipped well after working my ass off. There's nothing that keeps you going like someone walking up to you, palming you a handfull of bills and saying,

"Thank you."

Then again, there was the time that a centenarian woman with false teeth slipped a twenty dollar bill in my apron pocket, kissed me on the cheek, and pinched my ass.

That was OK too. But I'll stick to tipping.


~CW

Love: A Retrospective

Two years ago, on a cool September Saturday, I publicly and state-sanctimoniously dedicated my life to the woman of my dreams. Our marriage was an exhaustingly joyous occasion, filled with kind words, bad dancing, and tear-filled love.

This weekend, to commemorate that twelfth day of September, Annie and I decided to spend a couple days in Michigan, enjoying naught but the company of ourselves, and our little Basset Hound, Ellie.

Sherman's Ice Cream. Seriously Delicious.

The weekend was filled with beach walks, afternoon naps, and Sherman's Ice Cream. Sprinkle in some living room-dancing and outdoor showers, and it was exactly the restful weekend that we needed.

This weekend also gave me the opportunity to reflect on what our marriage means to me. We've been a committed couple for about seven years, and as our lives have changed, so to have our ideas on what it means to be a loving half of a successful marriage. Here are some of the things that I've determined. Consider it a letter to a younger self. Or to the future me. Or whatever:

• Share your ice cream. Even if its the last bite, and you were really looking forward to it.

• When you get into an argument, and you know that you are right, be happy with that knowledge. You will not convince her otherwise and, even if you do, you will only feel bad for making her cry.

• When she's scared, stay awake until she falls asleep. The alternative is a tireless night of semi-conscious deliberation on the feasibility of demonic possession, alien abduction, and/or serial torture.

The Love of My Life.

• Be excited when she has some zany craft project or hair-brained recipe to try. It wont always work out, and will often lead to frustration, an argument, or an expensive purchase that she never uses again. But when it does work, it will be amazing, delicious, and completely worth it.

• Listen to your wife when she tells you not to wear that shirt. Or pants. Or tie. She is looking out for your best interest. And your lack of fashion sense.

• Enjoy those weekend afternoons that you have nothing to do. They become scarce as time goes on, so take advantage of laying around in your underwear, enjoying the company of your love.

• Claim your farts. It's much more noble than blaming them on the dog.

• Walk the dog with your wife. It is a dedicated time where you have nothing else to do but talk. If you don't have a dog, walk your cat. or each other. Just walk.

• Be generous with friends. Your true friends will be generous in return.

The End. Stop Staring.

• Endeavor to wake up at least a few moments before the woman you love, everyday. Look at her face and realize how lucky you are.

And with all of these things, trust that she will do the same. Give selflessly, and if she reciprocates, you'll get it all back in the greatest currency known to man. 

Love. 

(You thought I was going to say Rupees, didn't you?)